Wednesday, July 28, 2010
Day One of Unraveling
I just came from decades (yes, more than 20 years) of knowing what I want and yet not being able to celebrate it. I finally enjoyed the things I wanted after years of mulling over them with the following questions:
1) Does society tolerate my sexual preference?
2) Will my straight friends accept me?
When every child was thinking how simple life was, I was being tortured with thoughts of how complex mine would be if I pursued my alternative life. I would later find out that any which way I went, mine was complex.
I enjoyed having relationships with guys like me, but not in broad daylight. Somehow, all the wonderful connections I had with such people were all cast under a shadow of escape. I felt and I still feel that my whole life is like one cold drizzly day. Everything's nonchalant.
The worse part of having such a reclusive persona is the reality that my fantasies are as pedestrian as the straight person's fantasies.
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Welcome to the blogosphere! I was just reading your comment on one of my entries. I'm looking forward to your future entries.
ReplyDeletewelcome to the journey. glad to exchange something with someone here.
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