Other people's opinions of me matter to me. In my formative years, I clung to them like a dog in heat would cling to someone's leg. I only became assertive after finding my voice in entities like a religious group, a few good friends and a series of boyfriends who were genuinely after my welfare.
I also had my share of encounters with rabid people along the way, but they only managed to influence my life to a certain point. Putting deadlines on everything including wallowing in misery was good for me. The longest I experienced were being hung up on my first love (1 full year) and being estranged from my high school best friend (3 years).
My life is a bit stable now because I'm confident with the decisions I make. I only started becoming assertive after realizing that people come and go in our lives.
People's opinions of me still matter to me sometimes. I've learned to examine them at face value and from points where their motivations are revealed.
For example are the following perceptions:
1) "You're not the type who will get married. I don't see you going there, bes." -- my (bisexual) best friend
2) "You are so suplado. Mana ka sa mommy mong suplada. Eventually you have to get married. At least have one kid." -- a relative
At the end of each day, I get to rest this head of mine on the pillow that I find comfortable. Everyone I encounter and relate with does influence the direction of my life, but I am ultimately the one steering this. After all, God gave me the free will to choose from this lifetime of options.
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